I don’t think
I thought
about God
Or self-transformation
Or return
Or love
Instead
there was guilt and shame
Appraisals
Scales and weights
Of wrongs and rights
And rites and dogmas
Images arise of solemn kings
And monstrous fathers
Stationed at the ivory gate of hell
Time changes us
It moves us back and forward
It returns us to our past
Which turns us to our future
We revisit the questions that once had answers
And resolutions
That offered comfort
And consolation
Certainty and ossification
But made a mockery of authenticity
And left us thirsty for true encounters
Slowly we awaken
Realizing that the questions
are in fact the answers
אחת שאלתי מאת ה׳ אותו אבקש
“One thing I ask of the LORD,
only that do I seek”
The search
The uncertainty of faith
Is the only answer there is
When אלוקים becomes המקום
When The judge became the “space”
An ineffible being that holds space for me
And me for Him
A space for tears
A space for grief
A space for loss
A space for growth
A space for compassion
A space for self-forgiveness
And forgiveness of Him
A space for return – תשובה
To essence
to self
to others
to failed relationships
to past trauma
He and I
hold space for past wrongs
And turn towards renewal
השיבנו ה אליך ונשובה אליך חדש ימינו כקדם
“Return us hashem to you and we shall return and renew our days of old”
Those unformed days of old
Coalesce with the wisdom of years
Transforming the fire and brimstone
Into a Divine palace
שִׁבְתִּ֣י בְּבֵית־יְ֭הֹוָה כׇּל־יְמֵ֣י חַיַּ֑י
“to live in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life”
Holding us in the space
Holding us in the embrace